Millionaire
by Tsuchi
Summary: Ever wonder what the 'Phone a Friend' friend is doing?


A/N: This is what happens when you watch day-time TV while reading fanfiction. Be warned. It can happen to you.

Millionaire

Jack's face was pale and sweaty under the lights and the pressure. One hundred thousand dollars on the line, and he had no idea what the answer was.

"I'm... gonna call a friend."

***

Tony's phone rang.

This, in itself, was not irregular. The fact that he had both hands busy holding his gun aimed at Petty Officer William Foresters, and therefore couldn't answer it, was.

It rang twice before Foresters, one arm gripping his wife while the other held a .9 mm to her head, twitched and snarled, "Answer it."

"Okay," Tony said, ignoring Ziva's staring. Hostage situations in Israel probably equalled to two dead bodies, but here in the great U S of A, federal officers took a little more care with civilian lives. He shifted his gun to one hand and flipped open his phone, bracing it between his ear and shoulder. "Hey Boss."

The expected growl – he and Ziva were only supposed to interview the wife one more time, but they'd walked in on her arguing with their suspect and things went downhill from there – was absent.

"Is this Tony?" A brisk female voice asked, instead.

"Speaking."

"Hi, this is Meredith from Millionaire. I have your friend Jack here. He's on the one hundred thousand dollar question and he needs your help."

"That's gonna be a problem, 'cause I'm a little busy here," he said, tense. Of all the times...

"Oh," her voice was a perfect example of surprised. She probably didn't get that answer often. "It'll only take thirty seconds, and I'm sure Jack would appreciate your help. Are you sure you can't take a minute or two?" Distantly, he could hear the audience's laughter.

He could also hear the beep his phone made when he had a second incoming call. That would be Gibbs. Hopefully, not answering would be enough to tell his boss that something was wrong and he needed back-up pronto. Gibbs was, after all, master of packing a whole lot of meaning into a few seconds of silence.

"Look. I don't if Jack told you, but I am a federal agent. I am a federal agent currently trying to keep a man from shooting his wife. Somehow I really doubt that any question, whether it's worth a hundred dollars or a million dollars is more important than Chelsea Foresters life. So no, I don't have thirty seconds." He snarled it into the phone, listened to the silence on the other end before,

"Is that Millionaire?" Foresters.

"Yeah, it is." Jack had the worst timing of anyone Tony knew, but Foresters didn't need to know that. Gibbs would kill him when he read the report, already.

"Put it on speaker phone."

"What?" Briefly, he wondered what Jack, Meredith and the audience were making of this, because they hadn't hung up yet.

"Put it. On speaker phone. I love that show." Foresters was snarling at him now, pressing the barrel harder against Chelsea's temple. Tears streaking down her face, she sobbed. "Shut up!" he growled at her.

"Okay, okay," Tony said. "I'm gonna put it on speaker phone, and I'm gonna put the phone on the couch, okay?"

"Do it."

Tony sent a meaningful glance at Ziva. She nodded at him, and tightened her grip on her Sig. Tony went back to a one-handed grip on his, and pressed one finger on the speaker phone. He set it on the couch. "Okay, Jack, go for it. Apparently, I do have time."

"A-Alright," he could hear Jack's voice, hesitant and unsure. "In the 1957 film _The Deadly Mantis_, what actor played Colonel Joe Parkman? Donald Randolph, William Hopper, Nathan Duran, or Craig Stevens? Which actor played Colonel Joe Parkman? _The Deadly Mantis_."

"D! Craig Stevens!" Foresters shouted, beating Tony to the punch.

"Uh, Tony?" Jack said.

"It's A, Donald Randolph," he said, and Foresters turned an incredulous look his way.

"Are you crazy? Donald Randolph played Mark Ford!"

"No, Craig Stevens played Mark Ford. Parkman was Randolph!"

"No! D! D!" Foresters shouted at the phone, and Tony shouted "A! A!" just as loudly. It nearly killed him, but he did it. If Foresters got this emotional about a TV show, there was a chance to come out of this without casualties.

"Look, just go with A, and we can sort it out later!"

"No!" Foresters said, and Chelsea sobbed again, harder, when he jerked her and turned his gun on Tony. "Go with D, okay? D is the answer you want!"

"Well, time's up, so you'll have to decide," Meredith said, while Tony yelled. "Okay, okay! Go with D! Don't make the man with the gun angry!"

"And don't hang up; I want to know the answer!"

"O-kay..." Meredith said. "We can keep you on the line, just, Jack, A or D?" Her voice was strained, trying to stay cheerful.

"Uh, I'll go with D. Final answer."

"Well, you said Tony was a big movie buff, but in this case... it's a good thing you didn't follow his advice. D is the right answer," Meredith said, and the living room exploded into chaos.

"Yes!" Foresters shouted to the ceiling, momentarily releasing Chelsea to punch the air. Tony jumped forward, pulling her behind him and out of danger. The second she was free, Ziva dropped her ready stance and tackled Petty Officer Foresters, who collapsed under her weight.

She had him pinned for about half a second before he flipped her over, and brought his gun up between them to fire. Or at least, he tried, before Tony kicked his aim off, and the bullet discharged into the far wall. Then Ziva's knee came up between his, and Foresters' eyes bugged out and he choked on a scream. Even knowing that Foresters was a bad, bad man, who had murdered three young women, and nearly beaten a fourth to death, Tony cringed in sympathy.

Ziva flipped his unresponsive body over, jerking his arms behind him to put on the handcuffs. She hissed his Miranda rights into his ear.

"Tony?" Jack's voice, from across the room.

"I'm fine, Jack. Everything here's fine." There was silence from the other end. "Hey, Meredith, you still there?"

"Yes, yes we're still here. You scared us there for a minute. Was that a gun shot?"

"Yeah, he shot the wall. Everyone's fine." Tony noted absently that his hands and voice were shaky with adrenaline. "I'm gonna need a copy of that tape, by the way. My boss is never gonna believe this."

Ziva roughly pressed her knee into Foresters back. The man hissed in pain and stopped writhing.

"Believe what, Dinozzo?" Tony heard from behind him. Tony grinned. This one would be a story to tell for _years_.


End file.
